2 Cows+

Every possible ideology explained with 2 cows.

🤖: Robot made (Gemini, claude, or GPT-4o_

😊: Human Made (

FEUDALISM: You have 2 cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. 😊

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk. 😊

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk. 😊

PURE COMMUNISM: You share 2 cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation. 😊

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market. 😊

PERESTROIKA: You have 2 cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market. 😊

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you. 😊

DICTATORSHIP: You have 2 cows. The government takes both and drafts you. 😊

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk. 😊

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk. 😊

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. 😊

CAPITALISM: You have 0 cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral. 😊

PURE ANARCHY: You have 2 cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you. 😊

ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. 😊

SURREALISM: You have 2 giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. 😊

OLYMPICS-ISM: You have 2 cows, one American, one Chinese. With the help of trilling violins and state of the art montage photography, John Tesh narrates the moving tale of how the American cow overcame the agony of growing up in a suburb with (gasp) divorced parents, then mentions in passing that the Chinese cow was beaten every day by a tyrannical farmer and watched its parents butchered before its eyes. The American cow wins the competition, severely spraining an udder in a gritty performance, and gets a multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties. The Chinese cow is led out of the arena and shot by Chinese government officials, though no one ever hears about it. McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot and fast at its Beijing restaurant. 😊

AMERICAN CORPORATE CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows, and both cows are bloated with toxic steroids. They are set out to graze on privatized public parks, release massive amounts of flatulence that destroys the ozone layer, die from excess ultraviolet light, and are processed into meat-like products that look great as a result of clever and unprincipled marketing strategies. When you mortgage your artificially devalued farm at high interest rates in order to buy meat, you consume the poisoned material and develop terminal illnesses because there is no health care plan to treat you. The corporate management uses your purchase price to acquire THEIR meat from cows raised "naturally" on tree-free rain forest land outside of the country where labor and resources are cheap. 😊

BRITISH REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have 2 cows. Both cows are mad. 😊

ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. You petition the government to regulate cow farts. 🤖

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. You milk them both and sell the milk. The government stays out of your business. 🤖

MONARCHY: You have two cows. The king takes the milk and gives you a title in return. 🤖

PLUTOCRACY: You have two cows. You sell both and buy a herd of cows. Now you control the milk supply. 🤖

MERITOCRACY: You have two cows. The cows that produce the most milk get extra hay. 🤖

TECHNOCRACY: You have two cows. You replace them with robotic cows that produce synthetic milk. 🤖

FEUDAL JAPAN: You have two cows. The samurai takes one and demands you provide half the milk from the other. 🤖

COLONIALISM: You have two cows. A foreign nation takes your cows, exploits them, and sends the profits back home. 🤖

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, and you disappear. 🤖

NEOLIBERALISM: You have two cows. The government deregulates the milk industry, and large corporations buy your cows for a fraction of their worth. 🤖

FRENCH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You decide to go on strike and block the roads because you want 3 cows. 😊

ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. 😊

RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. The government steals one of them in your sleep, and the other one falls off a balcony. 😊

IRISH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. 1 is a horse, the other dies of liver failure. 😊

IRAQI CORPORATION: You have 0 cows. Everybody believes you have many cows. They bomb your house and loot it looking for the cows. You have 0 cows, but at least you are now a democracy. 😊

GREEK CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. One is on loan from Germany, the other from France. The IMF loans you 2 more cows. You eat both. The banks and IMF call to get their cows/milk. 😊

INDIAN BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. You write hundreds of rules about what they can do. They promptly ignore them. 😊

BANGLADESHI CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You pay children halves of cents to milk them, and sell each bottle of milk for twice the workers' daily income combined. 😊

FINNISH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You give them the best healthcare, education, and living conditions. You then make the highest quality of milk, but are too antisocial to talk about it. 😊

FAR LEFT: You have 2 cows. Both decide they want to be male, and you are legally mandated to cut off their udders. You then die due to starvation due to the lack of milk. 😊

FAR RIGHT: You have 2 cows. One dies in childbirth, and the other dies due to a stray bullet in the head. Saying this is wrong causes you to be ostracized. 😊

JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have 2 cows, one you stole from Korea and the other you grew from illegal testing in Manchuria. You draw them in a "Kawaii" style, so nobody seems to care about how you got the cows. 😊

SWISS CORPORATION: You have 500 cows. None are yours. You charge the owners for storing them. 😊

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. Business seems good. You close the office and go get a few beers to celebrate. 😊

ISRAELI CORPORATION: You have 50 cows. Your angry neighbor from across the border breaks in and shoots your entire herd dead because they want everyone's cows. Instead of making them breed their own, the neighbor is given other countries' milk for their "suffering." 🤖

GAZAN CORPORATION: Your leaders shoot 50 Israeli cows, and eat all the beef for themselves. Then, you are bombed because your government shot more cows when they promised not to. If you ask your government for some of the beef or to leave, you are used as a human shield. 😊

CHRISTIAN RIGHT: You have 2 cows. They are in love. Despite the fact it does not affect their milk production in the slightest, you shoot them both anyway. 😊

ISLAMIC FUNDAMENTALISM: You have two cows. If they’re not wearing veils, they are stoned. 🤖

UNITED NATIONS PEACEKEEPING: You have two cows. They are forced to share a pasture with lions. 🤖

GENTRIFICATION: You have two cows. Wealthy cows move in and push your cows out. 🤖

ISOLATIONISM: You have two cows. You refuse to trade milk with other farms. 🤖

EUGENICS: You have two cows. Any time a cow chips a nail, you shoot it in the head, because it is "inferior". 🤖

ROARING 20'S: You have 2 cows. Both of them party every night. After a week, they both stop producing milk and the whole farm starves. 😊

LUDDISM: You have 2 cows. You have a milking machine, but refuse to use it and instead hand-milk it. 😊

PSEUDO-SCIENCE: You have 2 cows. If one gets sick, you give it leeches, and it dies faster. 😊

CROWDSOURCING: You have two cows. You ask the internet to help milk them. You get 50 different methods, none of which work. 😊

CRYPTOCURRENCY: You have 2 cows. You have 3 cows. You have 10 cows. You have 10000 cows. You have 0 cows. You got no chance to milk them. 😊

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: You have 2 cows. An AI determines them as inferior, and grinds them into patties. 😊

SUBSISTENCE FARMING: You have two cows. You milk them by hand, drink the milk, and use the rest to make cheese and butter. You survive, but barely. 🤖

ZEN BUDDHISM: You have two cows. The cows are an illusion. You are an illusion. Milk is an illusion. 🤖

CONSPIRACY THEORISM: You have two cows. You’re convinced they are working for the government. 🤖

CANCEL CULTURE: You have two cows. One says something offensive on Twitter, and you boycott its milk. 🤖

SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER: You have two cows. You post their photos on Instagram and get sponsorships from dairy brands. 🤖

BOOMERISM: You have 2 cows. You complain that the new generation does not want to milk cows. You do not milk your own cows either, instead opting for getting your grandson to do it for you. 😊

OPTIMISM: You have two cows. You believe they will produce more milk tomorrow. 🤖

PESSIMISM: You have two cows. You believe they will both die tomorrow. 🤖

REALISM: You have two cows. You milk them and sell the milk. 🤖

HEDONISM: You have two cows. You throw a party with the milk and cheese. 🤖

STOICISM: You have two cows. You accept whatever happens and focus on your inner peace. 🤖

MISANDRY: You have two cows. You don't buy them a bull, and instead use bone marrow. Both cows, the baby, and you all die due to starvation because of the lack of milk. 🤖

PACIFISM: You have two cows. You refuse to milk them because it might hurt their feelings. 🤖

IMPERIALISM: You have two cows. You invade your neighbor's farm to get more cows. 🤖

NATIONALISM: You have two cows. You believe they are the best cows in the world and start a cow parade. 🤖

GLOBALISM: You have two cows. You outsource the milking to another country. 🤖

POPULISM: You have two cows. You convince everyone that the elites are hoarding all the good cows. 🤖

OLIGARCHY: You have two cows. The richest farmers in the country decide what happens to them. 🤖

ALTRUISM: You have two cows. You give the milk to your neighbor who has none. 🤖

CORPORATE LOBBYING: You have two cows. You pay the government to ensure only your milk is sold. 🤖

SATIRE: You have two cows. They make fun of each other until one cries. 🤖

UTOPIANISM: Everyone has 2 cows. Everyone has their own milk, and shares them with each other if they have excess. Everyone is happy. 😊

IMPULSIVE PANIC BUYING: You have 2 cows. You fear a shortage, and buy all everyone else's milk. This causes a real shortage. 😊

MARKET DOMINATION: You have 2 cows. Jim has 2 cows too. You undercut his prices, and buy his cows from him. Now everyone has to buy the milk from you. 😊

ALBANIAN CORPORATION: You have 0 cows. 😊

MULTILEVEL MARKETING: You have two cows. You sell one cow to your friend, who sells one cow to their friend, and eventually, everyone is out of cows. 🤖

PROCRASTINATION: You have two cows. You’ll milk them tomorrow. 🤖

NARCISSISM: You have 2 cows. You say they are the best cows. 😊

SENSITIVE NARCISSISM: You have 2 cows. You say they are the best cows. If anyone disagrees, you don't sell them your milk. 😊

AGRARIANISM: You have 2 cows. You refuse to tell anyone about you, or your cows because they are from the city. 😊

DADAISM: You have 2 cows. Moo cow dada grass. Mm, yummy. 😊

ECOLOGISM: You have 2 cows. You let them roam free across your property. 😊

FEMINISM: You have 2 cows. You let them choose if they like a bull they are paired with. Your milk production triples because of that. 😊

CONSERVATISM: You have 2 cows. You force the females to follow whatever the bull does. Your milk is 1/3 of a normal cow's. You change nothing because this is how your great-great-grandfather did it. 😊

XENOPHOBIA: You have 2 cows. You shoot any other cows that enter your property on sight, even if they would have given you more milk. 😊

OPTIMIZATION: You have two cows. You replace one with a goat because it’s more efficient. 🤖

MINIMALISM: You have 2 cows. They are both small, because you only need enough to feed yourself. 😊

NIHILISM: You have two cows. Nothing matters, so you let them wander off. 🤖

BUREAUCRATIC NIGHTMARE: You have two cows. You need ten permits to milk them, but each permit requires a different form of ID. 🤖

QUANTUM PHYSICS: You have two cows. They exist in both milked and unmilked states simultaneously. 🤖

SKEPTICISM: You have two cows. You doubt that they’re really cows and refuse to drink the milk. 🤖

FURRY: You have 2 cows. You dress up as a cow. You are made fun of, but you are happy. 😊

THERIAN: You have 2 cows. You believe you are a cow spiritually. 😊

DYSTOPIANISM: You have two cows. The government implants them with tracking devices and monitors every drop of milk. If you drink a drop of it without paying for it, you are shot. 🤖

MACHIAVELLIANISM: You have two cows. You use their milk to manipulate and control others. 🤖

COMPETITIVENESS: You have 2 cows. They argue about who can make the most milk, and push themselves to their limits. 😊

INDIAN REINCARNATION: You died, and you are a cow now. 😊

MEGA-CONGLOMERATE: You have 5 farming complexes. Each complex has 5 farms. Each farm has 50 cows. Their conditions are all terrible. 😊

COMICAL EVIL-NESS: You have 2 cows. You make them cry, and purify the tears into water which you sell. 😊

SHADOW GOVERNMENT: You have 2000 cows. Each cow is famous and you use them to control the world's cow market. 😊

MEME CULTURE: You have 1 cow. It sings a polish song and spins. 😊

RUSSIAN DISINFORMATION: You have 1 cow. Your opponent has 10. You tell your farmers that your opponent's cows are all goats. 😊

PSYCHOPATHY: You have two cows. You don’t care about them at all, only the milk. 🤖

UNIVERSAL BASIC INCOME: You have two cows. The government gives you a stipend, so you don’t need to milk them. 🤖

CENSORSHIP: You have two cows. You forbid anyone from talking about the cows without your permission. 🤖

BURNOUT: You have two cows. You work them so hard they stop producing milk. 🤖

NEPOTISM: You have 2 cows. One produces no milk, but you give it twice the hay because its father produced milk. 😊